


Our Worth

by sorasan0000



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 14:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorasan0000/pseuds/sorasan0000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jae Ha finds himself curious about Kija’s current resolve, and just at the right time since Kija is questioning it himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Worth

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off an extra comic from volume 9, between the events of chapters 51-53.

"Can I ask you something?" 

Kija grunted and stopped scrubbing the blood soaked patch of clothing between his hands. He turned his glance to the right and up where his green-haired companion stood. "Yes?"

"Are you sure you can do that, or..." He pointed at the clothing and squinted his visible eye. 

"Yes, I told you I can do this. Everyone is busy with other things, and I figure I can do this." He went back to scrubbing and scraping, and Jae Ha shrugged and sat back down on the rock nearby.

"I just think you should try switching hands." 

Kija paused and gasped. He was right handed, but that proved to be a bit of a problem with his right hand being the claw of the white dragon. He switched positions and began again, becoming so entranced that he didn't notice the strip of fabric drifting down the stream.

Jae Ha sat and observed Kija as he scrubbed. He always took pride and joy in trying to figure out what others thought. He rather enjoyed toying with people that way, the most entertaining victim being Hak, of course. 

Kija on the other hand was a different story. Shin Ah and Zeno didn't have the problem Kija did. It was obvious to him from the beginning what Kija's life was like. He had been comforted, pampered, and brainwashed into the legend and destiny nonsense he himself became bitter about years ago. He couldn't imagine something so depressing, and it wasn't fun messing with people like that. His life could be shattered if he pushed too far. 

It irritated him even more than Hak's case because at least he chose to put his life at risk of his own free will. Kija, on the other hand, was doing this because he was told all his life he was supposed to, given that their "master" ever appeared, that is. It was set in stone since the day he was born, and upon meeting him he saw that he had no problem with that. It irritated him to no end.

"Jae Ha, is it ready? I think it is all out now." Kija lifted the long overcoat and paced toward him. "At least it is a dark colo...", he trailed and fell silent. 

"There's still his shirt, so give me that and you can get started." Jae Ha took the overcoat and held it in front of him. He shook his head mockingly. The coat was torn in multiple places. He quickly turned around and grinned. "Or I could do it. You go find a branch or something to use for a clothes line."

Kija quickly grabbed it from his hands and walked away to find a place to hang it. He could see his shoulders sink and rise, like he was trying to decide whether to be disappointed or content. Jae Ha sighed and began scrubbing the shirt.

****** ******

The sun was still in the sky, but sunset was due in two hours. With the cold, the clothes probably wouldn't be dry by that time. Jae Ha followed Kija's presence and found him playing with two children. They hung from his right arm and he twirled in drunken spirals. It was a sweet scene, and he couldn't help but smile for the children's sake.

His smile gave into a frown when he saw the overcoat hanging over a wooden post. "Kija, hang that thing properly or it'll never dry!"

Kija quickly said good-bye to the two children and grabbed the coat. He pointed at a barren tree with long branches and began walking towards it.

"That'll do, but why didn't you hang it there in the first place?" 

"I was going to, but I have never had the chance to play with small children, so it slipped my mind. It was not that long, right?"

Jae Ha side-glanced him. He couldn't tell if this was Kija being condescending or honestly innocent. It was hard to believe he was the closest one in age to him. 

"At least I am helpful in lifting their spirits," Kija added with a sigh. "Unlike...what I was able to do with this." He held the coat in his hands and sulked.

"Uh-huh." Jae Ha bluntly agreed, but before he could say anything about it being salvageable, Kija began to speak again.

"I am not useful in this, either," he sharply remarked. He tossed the coat back at Jae Ha, giving it enough air for him to snatch it before it fell in the dirt.

Jae Ha heard that tone, and he didn't like it. "Oh, come on... If you use your left hand to scrub it won't be this bad next time you do it."  

Kija turned with a conflicted expression of relief and, unexpectedly, sadness. Jae Ha's eyes widened and then softened.  _Oh_ , he thought,  _well this is something new._

"Jae Ha, can I ask you something?" Kija quietly asked.

"Yes?"

"Have you ever been in a situation where you have...um..." Kija turned to the side and scrunched his lips. "I do not know how to put it, um..."

Jae Ha snapped and pointed at the one barren branch lowest to the ground. "Bring that down, would you? And don't snap it."

Kija snapped out of his train of thought and extended his hand to bring it down. He continued to be at a loss for words as Jae Ha took the next few minutes stringing the clothing along. Jae Ha glanced to see Kija's face several times as he tugged and snagged the overcoat along. His face was calm and focused on the task at hand, lacking the strained brow he had before. 

As soon as the task was done they both sat on nearby rocks and watched the older villagers organize food lines. Yona and Yoon taught them how to use the taxes they hid from the soldiers. However, this was a crucial time since trouble would arise if soldiers found them doing this. He figured it was a good thing he and Kija were here at this time. 

He leaned back on his hands and peaked again at Kija, who sat with his elbows on his knees and hands on his chin. He looked contemplative again, slightly opening his mouth several times as if to say something but closing it again. 

"If you're wondering if you've just ruined one of Shin-Ah's only pieces of clothing, don't worry. Yoon can fix it." Jae Ha patted him on the shoulder a couple times and waited to see whether he helped at all. Although the real problem still hadn't revealed itself, this was one problem that could be taken off his conscience. 

Kija smiled and relaxed his posture, looking to the left at the clothing blowing in the slight wind. "If I practice I will become better. I will just practice on my own clothing next time. I can ask Yoon or Hak to show me how to do it better." 

Jae Ha could see him lightening up compared to before, and that was good for him since he didn't want to deal with a moody Kija. He kicked his left heel against the rock and continued to dig deeper.

"So I have a question again."

Kija glanced at him for the first time since he gave him that mixed expression. He definitely looked better.

"Why exactly did you join the group?" His grin faded as he became serious in his curiosity. He noticed something during this little time, and he was going to figure it out. 

"Because it is the dragon's duty to serve their master. I have told you already." Kija's relaxed expression became defensive, as he already knew Jae Ha wasn't so bent on this reason.

Jae Ha let out a groan and sulked. "Any other reason...? What were you going to ask me before?"

Kija's eyes widened and bent back. "I just...want to ask you if you have ever felt like your worth was fading away...?" He let out a quick laugh and shook his head. "I don't know."

Jae Ha clicked his tongue and grinned. He knew it was something like this. "Kija, that was every day of my life until I escaped the Village of Ryokuryuu."

Kija tensed up and then peered down, ashamed of what he brought up. Jae Ha waited for a moment before Kija looked back at him with pity. "I apologize. I forget we had different experiences, and I should not force it on you..."

"E-hum! So, what I did was," he paused and grabbed his ponytail, twirling it around his finger, "I found a place where I was needed and stuck with them. The captain gave me tons to do, and look at me now. I helped to accomplish something that took ten years to do, and now I'm helping a young girl survive. Really, I find it an extension of what I was doing before."

He could tell he made something click for his silver-haired companion, since he made a face of realization. He fidgeted his fingers and watched the villagers finish off their meals and head to their individual homes. He walked towards the clothes and stared.

Jae Ha followed and did the same. He kept thinking Kija would open up about what he was expecting him to do, but he found out the conversation had taken a turn for something different.

"They will not dry anytime soon because of the cold, huh?"

"...More importantly, they've been all torn up. You ripped them with your claw, so..." 

"I will get better, I promise."

 _Why was he promising that to me?_  Jae Ha wondered.

***** *****

The clothing was still damp, but it was getting dark and Shin-Ah still had nothing to wear. Jae Ha folded them and placed them in the bag inside out. He stretched himself out before allowing Kija to get on his back. Carrying Yoon or Yona around wasn't a problem, but Kija was a grown man and could easily knock out his back if he wasn't careful. He thanked the heavens he was as fit as he was. 

"Ready?"

"Just about."

Kija tied the bag around himself and then put his leg up for Jae ha to grab. As soon as Jae Ha told him he had it, he jumped onto his back and Jae Ha caught his other leg, the whole endeavor almost knocking him off his feet. 

"God, you're heavy." 

"I'm not as bad as Hak or Shin-Ah."

"You might be. How much does that hand weigh when it's inactive, huh?"

As they took off, Jae Ha felt Kija's grip tighten. He felt his warm breath hitting the back of his neck every time they landed and lifted again. He tried to get his mind off it as chills traveled down his spine and through his chest. 

"Jae Ha," Kija blurted as they were in midair.

"Yeah?"

"When I was in my village I als--" they hit the ground and he was cut off for a second before continuing in the air. "I also felt limited in what I could do. I felt that--" THUMP! "I felt that my only purpose was to get married and continue my bloodline, and-" THUMP! "-my life had no other purpose. I know that is selfish and I always felt ashamed of it." THUMP! "I love my village and the villagers. Next to the princess they mean the world to me. They're family, but-" THUMP! "-when the princess came I...I felt liberated." THUMP! "But when we were looking for Shin-Ah, I felt completely useless because- THUMP! "-I had nothing to offer except my brute strength and sensing skills, but-" THUMP! "-we searched for days and could not find him in the direction I was sensing him."

Jae Ha landed, giving them both the time to stretch and try again. Though Jae Ha had become interested in what Kija was divulging to him, so he didn't become prepared as quickly.

After one final leg stretch he flipped to face Kija. "But you did find him. You found me, too."

Kija adjusted the bag and looked at him. "And then we found Zeno...and my role was done."

Jae Ha patted him on the shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Wrong. You still have a lot to do. Who knows what kind of enemies we'll have in the future. You still have that claw, you know."

Kija touched his claw and gripped it. "But I want to do more."

_A-hah._

Jae Ha turned around and motioned for him to climb back on. As Kija fastened himself for liftoff, Jae Ha leaned his head back and whispered, "Even now you're not 'useless' so long at you're at least doing something for the group. So don't think that way."

They quickly got back into position and lifted into the sky. Purple and scarlet dusk laid before them, and they could finally see the village where the rest of the group was based for the night. Before arriving, Kija thanked Jae Ha for his time and said no more. 

**** ****

The next morning, Jae Ha spotted Kija talking to Yoon. He pulled out a torn rag and showed him a spare needle and thread. Kija tried to copy his every move, but he could tell he was getting frustrated. "Like this? This? Yoon!"

He chuckled and reminisced on the night before. He found out something rather relieving, rather than interesting. He never thought he would decide to probe Kija's emotions, but finding out his previous assumption was slightly off was nice. Getting to understand one of his comrades, especially the one he felt the least in common with, was refreshing.

"It took me 13 years to get this far," he muttered. He closed his eyes, remembering his early years with Captain Gi Gan when he was given his first task of being a messenger boy, failing miserably. 

_And for you, Kija, it's just the beginning._


End file.
